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Yesterday was a good day. Finally.
The last month has been difficult for me, both mentally and physically. My mother has been in the hospital, I’ve been injured, and I’ve done a poor job of prioritizing fitness. If you think I’ve been whiney here, you should try living in my head!
“You need to go to the gym,” Kris told me Tuesday night after losing patience with my mopiness. “It’ll make you feel better.”
I knew she was right. (She’s always right!) Mental health professionals extol the virtues of exercise as a deterrent for depression. I’ve experienced this in my own life. Yet somehow when I need it most, it’s most difficult for me to do.
So yesterday morning I said “enough is enough” and hauled my ass to the gym for the first time this month. I spent half an hour stretching and then about twenty minutes lifting for the lower body. I also did my first set of pushups in a week. (Yes, I had even dropped my pushup routine. I’ll pick it back up now, though.)
Though this was a modest workout, it felt great. It was also good to have people say, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. It’s good to have you back.” I’m not the most social guy at the gym, so it kind of surprised me that people had noticed my absence.
In the afternoon, I went to physical therapy. Dana put me through a couple of terrible routines (”the frog” sucks big time). Then she examined the IT band. “It’s still tight,” she said. “But it’s getting better. In fact, the right IT band feels tighter than the left today.”
When we were finished, she said, “You can run a little this week. You can run every other day, and no more than five miles at a time. If you have intense pain, though, you need to stop right away.”
Throughout the day, I ate well. I had a sensible breakfast (yogurt and fruit), a sensible lunch (chicken sausage), and a sensible dinner (fish and snow peas). I did snack a little, but I did so consciously. I didn’t just gorge myself on Hostess Sno-Balls!
Things feel like they’re finally moving again. I did more stretching this morning. In a few minutes, I’m going to go for a mile walk, try to run for three miles, and then finish with another mile walk. Afterward, I’ll have something healthy to eat for lunch.
Why is it that I tend to forget the connection between physical activity and mental health? When I’m blue, exercise seems like a chore. But exercise isn’t a chore — it’s a treat.
Mac
10 responses so far ↓
1 Greenman2001 // Aug 21, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I’m a little surprised you’re only eating yogurt and fruit after your workout. I have to believe you’re ravenous shortly after that meal. You’ll burn through those carbs in no time.
Glad to hear you’re back on the horse. Stress and depression are huge obstacles, and I’m glad you’re talking about them here.
2 J.D. // Aug 21, 2008 at 4:27 pm
By the way, my run today went okay. I was actually laughing (sort of) because I had no problem with the IT band, but damn I was winded. Turns out, though, that I was running at a 9:30 pace, which is pretty good for me. Also, both feet got blisters on the inside of the ball, which is strange. That’s never happened before.
Still, three miles down! Woohoo!
3 Andrew is getting fit // Aug 21, 2008 at 4:55 pm
That made me smile. Exercise is a treat indeed.
4 Greenman2001 // Aug 21, 2008 at 5:53 pm
The IT band problem is a result of friction. You’ve rested, so the inflammation is gone for the moment, but as you start to run the problem will return as your mileage increases and you pass that muscle over the bone enough times to cross the tipping point of irritation. Unless you develop flexibility. Looks like you’re making some progress there. Good luck!
5 DR // Aug 21, 2008 at 6:33 pm
The whole depression-exercise connection can really be self fulfilling for some people.
Something happens to knock you off the horse, you feel like crap and you skip your workout.
Because you skipped your workout, you don’t get the little endorphin boost and feel even a little worse
And so on and so on.
It’s good that you’re back at it
Best wishes to you and your mom.
6 Brigid // Aug 22, 2008 at 7:20 am
Quite often, it’s just getting started that’s the hardest, especially when you are feeling down.
I play mind games with myself. First I tell myself I’ll get dressed for the workout and if I still don’t feel like it, I won’t. Then I tell myself I’ll just do my intended workout for five minutes.
I usually don’t have to talk myself into it more than that. Once I start, I’m good for the duration. Sometimes I end up working out harder than I expected.
If you just look at it initially as a ten minute investment - it’s a lot easier to start and that’s really the toughest part of the equation. At least it is for me.
Cheers!
7 Will // Aug 22, 2008 at 8:06 am
Good to hear you are getting back into it.
I went through a week or two with similar frustrations and lack of motivation; I, in turn, didn’t workout. I kicked myself up this week and told myself that I would work out at least 5 days this week. Today I went for a run, which I hadn’t done since June, and I ran 2 1/4 miles which is the most I ran on the path near my apartment. I usually run every other 1/4 mile but I decided to see how I could do, I ran a 1/2 mi then at the end I pushed myself to run a full mile. That I haven’t done since High School.
I really enjoy reading your blog it keeps me going and gives me comfort knowing that others have similar lapses and frustrations with their healthy way of living. I’m getting there and I am feeling the effects if being healthy.
Keep it up J.D.
8 Lizabelle // Aug 22, 2008 at 8:55 am
JD, I’m so pleased for you that you managed to get back to the gym after all that. I am a bit like you - when I’m down the last thing I want to do is exercise - and my boyfriend is like your Kris.
Just - good for you for going back, and I’m so glad it made you feel better. I think you’ve made fantastic progress since starting this blog.
9 Maureen // Aug 22, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Way to go, JD. I have been fighting some depression demons of my own, due to relocating, starting a grad program, etc. The past few days I’ve forced myself to bear the heat of NC and head out the door “even if it’s just for 20 minutes.” I’ve felt better the past two days than I have in two months.
Hang in there - you are making tremendous progress and your blog is such a great testament to how far you’ve come! Best wishes to your mom, too. Keep taking care of yourself.
10 Metroknow // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I’m a little late to the party as I’ve been in Seattle with barely an Internet connection (oh, the irony), but I must say this is one of your more inspiring posts in the last few months. It really got me thinking about my own situation, and what I need to do to get myself out of my own depression situation. Thanks J.D. - I really do appreciate your candor.
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