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I received this email from J.D. yesterday morning:
Yikes. I just got up. It’s my swimming day, but I do *not* feel like going. Is it wrong to skip a workout? I’m not sick — just lazy. I could always go for a run in the afternoon…
–j.d.
My first thought after reading this it was: “Why did he write me this email? Isn’t that question rhetorical? I know things have been going well lately and we haven’t talked in a while, but was this the best he could do? Does J.D. miss me?”
After a little bit of thought, I realized that J.D. was at a point that we all (people struggling with new habits) get to sometimes. This email was asking for advice. My partner needed me to help him get through this sticking point because I was recently there. Here was my response:
I understand completely…Do something that doesn’t take as much effort as swimming. I don’t mean physical effort, I mean the effort that it takes to pack your bag, drive/walk to to the pool, get changed and shower, then do the reverse to get home.
Go for a walk where you can just do it, or do some calisthenics (sp?) at home something like that. I had my stuff all packed for the gym and then my kid puked all over me. Guess I’m not going to the gym until tonight when Pam gets home. We all have to deal with lack of motivation in our own ways
Not bad advice if I do say so myself. And the best part about it was that 6 months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to give it. I’ve learned a lot from researching and writing this blog. But what I’ve learned from all of your responses far surpasses what I’ve learned on my own. The advice that I gave J.D. yesterday morning came from all of you. We thank you for it.
Needless to say, J.D. and I (and I’m speaking for him so he may correct me) are both struggling a little bit right now. In the past, we’ve failed when we struggle, but now we have one extra thing in our arsenal to help us through the tough times–this blog. We’ll get past whatever the things are that are tripping us up and get back on the road to success. Stick with us. Our wives are begging you 
J.D.
16 responses so far ↓
1 Tiffany // Apr 16, 2008 at 6:30 am
Keep it up guys.
2 TosaJen // Apr 16, 2008 at 6:39 am
Yup, you don’t really understand something until you can help someone else. Thanks for the reminder!
I think that “healthy communities” are particularly helpful in coming up with new ideas for the toolbelt. The more tools in your toolbelt, the more likely you are to succeed at most anything.
Also, the practice we get being kind, supportive, and non-judgmental of others helps us learn to be the same to ourselves. (Those mean voices in our heads are so unhelpful!)
3 brad // Apr 16, 2008 at 7:02 am
While I agree that being supportive is good (and positive reinforcement is wonderful), sometimes what you need is someone to crack the whip and tell you to go swimming.
I find that building–and maintaining–momentum is vitally important to my progress. I’ve been incredibly busy at work the last few weeks, working from 6am to 10pm every day and working weekends as well, and exercise has gone out the window. Plus I’m sick with a bad cold. I haven’t hit my rowing machine in a week, and despite the suddenly gorgeous spring weather we’re having here I haven’t gotten my bike out yet this year. I’ve completely lost the momentum I had, and once you lose it, it’s a real challenge to get it back.
So yesterday, when I was stressed out and miserable with a sore throat, obsessing about all my work deadlines, I wavered: I thought, I really should get on the rowing machine, but I don’t feel like it, I just don’t have the energy. If I had asked a buddy for his advice, I think I would have wanted him to say, “yeah, life is tough, but no excuses, get down in the basement and row!” I would have felt so much better afterwards.
4 d.a. // Apr 16, 2008 at 7:14 am
…and sometimes, it’s okay to feel less than motivated. What I’ve found works is to allow yourself to wallow for a few minutes - not fight it - then tell yourself to “okay, just get into the gym clothes”, then take another step, then take another step. Pretty soon you’ve got a workout accomplished.
5 macdaddy // Apr 16, 2008 at 7:23 am
6 J.D. // Apr 16, 2008 at 8:04 am
Yesterday was a “nothing day” or me. I didn’t get anything productive done in any facet of my life. I hate days like that, but sometimes they happen.
I didn’t go swimming. I did do some Dance Dance Revolution, and I measured it with my heart rate monitor. Not bad. Gives me about the same workout as my weekend marathon training.
This morning, however, I got out of bed and went to the gym! Also, last week when I was sick, I ran my two miles.
7 Sherthebear // Apr 16, 2008 at 8:41 am
I think that was nice advice. It is better to do something rather than sit around and do nothing. I always have days when I come home from work and I just don’t want to go to the gym. Sometimes just the act of putting on my gym clothes and putting on my shoes helps to get me out the door.
8 GeneralDisarray // Apr 16, 2008 at 10:08 am
The best workout motivation advice I’ve ever heard: “Put your shoes on”.
It’s putting that laziness to work for you. If I’m too lazy to get up and go to the gym, I’m definitely too lazy to change back into my jeans/t-shirt after I’m already dressed for the gym.
9 Rebecca // Apr 16, 2008 at 10:45 am
I’ll stick with you Mac, JD.
I’ve just re-starting going back to the gym. Your blog is a source of inspiration for me. Keep it up!
10 AndrewE // Apr 16, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Having a blog really helps with the motivation I find.
11 Susan // Apr 16, 2008 at 3:53 pm
That’s good advice, and it’s great you both have each other to encourage. You’re well on your way to meeting your health goals. Hey, the journey is sometimes just as important!
12 Amy // Apr 16, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Something that works for me is to tell myself that if I still want to quit after just 5 minutes, I can, but I need to get that 5 minutes in. 9 times out of 10, after 5 minutes I’m in the workout mode and will finish the workout… but when I’m not, I don’t allow myself to feel guilty about it.
13 greenman2001 // Apr 16, 2008 at 6:14 pm
I’ve noticed that something happens at week 3-4 that is sometimes fatal to exercise routines (my own included). The first flush of enjoyment has definitely worn off, and now you come to realize “My old life is over, and this is what my new life look likes.” It can be very, very tough to leave the old life behind. Saying no to exercise is part of your old life. In your new life, you exercise six days a week. In your old life, you have two helpings of stew, even if you’re full after the first. In your new life, you say, “I’m going to wait a half hour before I have the second bowl, and if I’m still hungry then I’ll eat it.” The natural way is homeostasis: things tend to stay the way they always have been: it’s easier than changing. No gettting around it: the path you’ve chosen is the harder one.
14 Metroknow - AlmostFit.com // Apr 16, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I definitely agree on the power of blogging about this path. I have also been struggling in the last bit of time because I’ve been stuck on a plateau for several weeks. And I’m now exercising (tomorrow marks run 3 this week, which is my initial goal)…I KNOW I’m not building that much muscle by running 3 miles a day - my body is just messing with me.
But the blog really gives me a sense of accountability, and maybe more importantly, inspiration from all of the commentors and co-bloggers. My 23 lbs. down so far this year are a testament to how powerful this medium is.
Just a quick note of thanks to you guys - you were definitely one of the key inspirations for getting off my butt and changing my ways for my health’s sake. Thanks Guys. Please keep it up.
15 Brigid // Apr 17, 2008 at 5:32 am
I can’t count the number of days I didn’t want to get out of bed and do my morning exercise. I can honestly say it happens just as much now, after ten years of regular exercise as it did back in the day when I was first starting out. Sometimes you just have to push yourself. It requires as much (maybe more) mental strength as it does physical strength. When you look at it - the mental part is often a lot harder than the physical. I’ll bet if JD had pushed through it and went swimming, he would have come back wondering why he was so resistant to the idea in the first place.
On thing that has helped me over the years is to have everything packed and ready to go the night before. It sets you up mentally for your next workout and since you have specific gear packed it’s less likely that you’ll go to an easier “Plan B”.
That all being said - you’re both doing great. There’s no need to obsess over a missed workout. You’ll have plenty of them through the years. Some will be justified, some won’t. This is all a journey. You live, you learn, you move on.
16 Deb // Apr 23, 2008 at 11:06 am
Your blog is so inspirational…. i love the fact that youre NORMAL !!!!
the other night, my husband brought home a Mens Fitness magazine -(dont remember the exact name) .. and he said that it made him really depressed reading it because it seemed like it was for men who are already fit and the articles were steps to get extra “ripped”
I absolutely Love reading your blog - i love the fact that theres a mental battle and i love the fact that you have “nothing” days, becasue that means youre human.
keep up the great work -
much luck to you —-
Deb
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