If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
Every once in a while, I read something on the internet that both amazes me and makes me feel like I should be doing more for people other than myself. The other day, I found this article about a woman who likes to run AND likes to help others.
This article hit home for me because I used to live in Philadelphia. Downtown, known to the locals as “center city,” is really nice, but as soon as you leave the tourist and historical district, the real Philadelphia surfaces. I can imagine the dark, filthy streets that Anne Mahlum runs through and I can see the homeless standing in front of the shelters as she passes. I miss Philadelphia–I lived there during a much simpler time in my life–a fiancee, a psycho cat, an apartment, and a job was all I had to worry about. It saddens me to see it hasn’t gotten any better since I left.
It seems these days, all I have time to think about is myself and my family–it makes me feel guilty. My wife is taking steps to get more involved in our community as we speak; she’s recently joined one of our local Relay for Life teams here in Salem. I too would like to do something and I know that I can make the time. But right now, it seems that it takes all my resolve to take care of my kids, watch my diet, get all my exercise and find some time to spend with my wife. I’m at a loss for what to do and how to get involved.
J.D.
13 responses so far ↓
1 Red // Apr 7, 2008 at 7:30 am
And now I feel guilty because I only have a fiance, a job, and a video blog, and I still feel like I can’t find the time.
It’s the guilt trickle down effect. Reagavation. Motivation by guilt.
2 d.a. // Apr 7, 2008 at 8:33 am
Raising one’s children to be decent, thoughtful people is a worthy endeavor in and of itself. Keep your eyes open for the little things you can do with them… one thing a friend does is after playtime in a park, each person picks up a piece of stray litter to help “pay back” for the fun they had. You can’t do it all. But you can do a little, and once the children are more self-sufficient, you can do much more.
3 Andrew is getting fit // Apr 7, 2008 at 10:47 am
Think of it like weightloss. Make one little change at a time.
And I agree with the previous poster. Raising your kids to be decent folks is the greatest thing you can do.
4 elisabeth // Apr 7, 2008 at 12:06 pm
maybe you can combine watching your diet and giving something back — next time you are grocery shopping, think about how you’re spending less on junk fook and drop an extra jar of good peanut butter or tuna in water or organic beans or whatever you’re buying to improve your diet into your cart to go (eventually when you’ve filled a bag) to the local food bank.
5 Annie // Apr 7, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Have you visited http://www.handsonportland.org? They have a lot of great one-day opportunities and things to fit any schedule.
Along that line there’s always volunteermatch.org. They have many virtual volunteer activities that you can do right from your computer.
6 Jessica Eastman // Apr 7, 2008 at 7:16 pm
One of the ways that I motivate myself to exercise is by doing it for a good cause. I signed up for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer to walk 1.5 marathons. It’s easier to train when I feel like I have a higher purpose for doing so.
Perhaps you could train for a marathon that was raising money for a good cause? I’m sure you’d have no trouble with the fund raising through this site.
7 Phyllis // Apr 7, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I agree with D.A. and Andrew. Right now you can give back by raising your children to be happy and productive beings. Soon the time will come when their demands aren’t as great and all the woes of the world will still be present for you to take on. You also will have molded two more individuals to give back.
8 brad // Apr 8, 2008 at 3:22 am
As Jessica said (and as your wife is already doing), you could combine exercise with fundraising. I’ve participated in a few 120-km bike rides to raise money for a hospital, as well as participating in a spinning competition to raise funds for local charities. It’s a step removed from direct action, but in many ways more efficient because the organizations you’re raising money for do this work every day and can make a difference. When I was younger and had more time than money, I gave my time by volunteering in food banks, etc.; now that I’m older and have more money than time, I give money.
9 SamB // Apr 8, 2008 at 5:26 am
I’m convinced that one of the best things you can do is tutor/mentor a child from an underserved community. Building human capital and helping a child realize how important education is (especially when they may not be getting the message from home) THE way to help our under-served communities. I’m sure there are plenty of programs avalaible (check out the volunteer section of craigslist).
10 greenman2001 // Apr 8, 2008 at 5:56 am
Sorry if I’m stating the obvious, but “giving back” doesn’t have to involve exercise. It doesn’t have to be a multi-tasking solution: exercise and “giving back” at the same time, tempting though that may be from a time management standpoint.
Also, I don’t think I know how old your kids are, but making time when they’re very little (expecially if they’re not walking) is extremely difficult; parenting is hard enough without adding guilt on top of its challenges. Having said that, doing some “giving back” with your kids could be a powerful influence on them: going with Dad while he drives an elderly person to a doctor’s appointment or brings meals to an invalid or reads to someone in a nursing home could be a profound experience for them and you both, not to mention the person you’re helping. I’m using examples here that involve actually helping someone directly, but it’s all good, including raising money for medical research or for one of the myriad organizations that provide real comfort to people suffering from disease. As Brad points out, your way of “giving back” need not involve time if you have no time.
Last, I hesitate to bring up religion even in this context, but if you’re looking for ways to help people and “give back,” your church is a good place to start: it’s the original social service agency of first resort for many people who need help, and your minister or priest or pastor or rabbi does this kind of thing for a living and so is a great resource for finding ways to “give back.”
11 Cynthia // Apr 8, 2008 at 11:57 pm
I think there’s a time for giving back and a time for giving to yourself. Sometimes we spend so much time working and helping others, whether it is our families, or friends, or other good causes, that we lose sight of what we need ourselves for health.
It’s OK to step back and put your needs on the front burner for a while.
I did think there were some excellent suggestions here for way to give while taking care of yourself as well.
12 brooklynchick // Apr 13, 2008 at 5:44 am
I agree that raising children to be good people is the most important thing you can do! And modeling for them can be as small as picking up litter, holding doors for others, helping someone carry a stroller up the subway steps…
I don’t have time to volunteer right now, so in addition to the above, I’ve made charitable giving my priority. I have signed up for automatic monthly giving to a few charities I care a lot about - Doctors without Borders, Heifer International, my local “friends” of library, park and public radio. Most of them are only $10/month, so its not a big gift, but its steady cash for the nonprofit (which they need!) and its a low-maintenance way for me to give.
13 m // Apr 18, 2008 at 5:56 pm
I was going to suggest the same as the comment before mine: give money until you can afford to give time.
Some good advice I recently got, there are times you have resources only to take care of you and your family, and other times you have more to give. Give when you can and don’t feel bad when you can’t give. The problem only occurs when you can do for others but simply choose not to.
Having said all that, you might find there are quick and simple ways to help such as doing one time volunteer jobs. There a web site that lists tons of one-time volunteer opps. You can find one that lasts just a couple hours and do it every couple months even. Not much time spent but you’ve gotten yourself out there and involved.
Or you may be able to help someone online by sharing advice on something you’re an expert at, etc. There are SO many ways to help, just don’t limit your ideas of what constitutes help and I bet you’ll find you might h ave the time and energy after all. Good luck. It’s great you want to help!
Leave a Comment