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Note: Before reading further, I want to make it clear that I understand that the issues I have with my own body are just that–my own. I am not an expert in the field of body image issues. I just know how I feel about my appearance, and how my feelings have changed since I’ve started my new lifestyle. Please understand that I’m completely aware that there are many people out there with issues that are much more serious than my own and I do not want to trivialize those issues.
So lately, I’ve caught myself falling into a trap. I know it’s stupid, yet I still do it. I’ve been stepping on the scale every time I walk by it. After waking–202.6. After my shower–203.0. After breakfast–202.6. After going to the bathroom–202.4. After working out–202.0. Why am I doing this? Why does it matter? What’s different now that’s making me feel compelled to step on the scale so often?
Actually, I think it’s success. I want to see those numbers come down so badly now that I’m used to them doing so. Even a drop of 1/10th of a pound makes me feel good, but not as much as a 1/10th of a pound gain hurts. I’ve got to fix this behavior. I’ve noticed myself allowing the numbers on the scale govern my day’s actions. Yesterday, I felt really hungry all day. The scale said 203.0 in the morning, which was the same as my weekly-weigh-in from the day before. But I wanted it to be lower, so I didn’t eat enough during the day. This morning, it said 202.6. But was it worth it? Is it worth feeling grumpy, hungry, and tired all day? I don’t think so and neither do my kids. I know that if I continue to starve myself, eventually I’ll give in and revert to old habits. I also know that if I don’t keep eating, my metabolism will slow down and my body won’t lose any weight at all. I know these things, I just have to remember to apply them throughout the day.
Another reason why I find myself stepping on the scale so often has to do with my self esteem issues–issues that I’ve had for as long as I can remember. I wasn’t a very popular or athletic kid growing up. Yeah, I had friends, played sports and was active in the student body, but I definitely wasn’t on the top rung of the high school social ladder. I was also over weight and tended to carry my extra weight in my face and chest. Because of this, I developed terrible posture; I would hunch my shoulders over so that people wouldn’t notice my chest. I still do this today, and my trainer at the gym rides me hard for it because it affects my form during my exercise. I’m 34 years old, married with children, and still afraid to take my shirt off at the beach. That’s totally crazy.
Traditionally, problems with body image have been thought of as “woman only issues.” As I’ve already attested, this is erroneous. In fact, male body image issues are on the rise. I found a series of interesting articles By Alicia Potter that deals with men and their feelings about body image on a website called infoplease.com. I have no idea if this is a reputable website as I’ve never stumbled across it before. However, I can definitely relate to some of the information that I found in the six part series dealing with this issue.
Many of the issues that women have faced for decades are now also on the rise for men. Men are bombarded by the media with images of how real men are supposed to look.
In Vogue and Men’s Health alike, modern-day Adonises sell everything from protein powder to Armani cologne. They’ve got washboard abs, silky skin, nipples so erect they cast shadows. The male torso reigns as the decade’s most powerful “crossover image” (appealing to men, women, gays, and straights alike), reports Peter Arnell of the New York advertising agency the Arnell Group.
I don’t look at the 20-something male bodies in these magazines and wish that I look like them because I know no matter how hard I work, it’s never going to happen. In fact, I don’t have the desire to make it happen. But it still makes me think about how hard I’m working and how much I’m eating. Am I doing things right, or is there a better way?
I’m not alone in my feelings either. According to the article, a recent body image study found that only 55 percent of men were happy with their physiques.
I’ve read all 6 parts of this article and I could write an entry about each of them. One of the articles that I can relate to the most is the part that touches on exercise addiction. Am I addicted? I don’t think so, but I’ve worked out 26 of 29 days this month. I’ve logged how many miles I ran, how many minutes I’ve spent on the elliptical machine, and how much weight I’ve lifted. It’s nice to be able to track the progress, especially in my cardiovascular system. These things alone aren’t signs of being addicted to exercise. But on those three days this month where I didn’t hit the gym, I felt guilty, maybe even anxious about missing my workout even though these were scheduled days off. Miss Potter says that “Signs of obsession include feelings of acute anxiety over a missed workout and an urge to make exercise a priority over friends and family.” I’m not there yet, but I definitely understand the feeling of being anxious due to missed workouts.
These articles have really raised my interest level in the pyschology surrounding body image. I’m especially interested in it from the male point of view and I want to learn more. Are there any psychologists out there able to point me in the right direction for some reading material that might be more reputable then what I’ve got my hands on so far?
J.D.
19 responses so far ↓
1 J.D. // Feb 29, 2008 at 9:45 am
These articles have really raised my interest level in the pyschology surrounding body image.
Ah, the science of weight loss.
2 Sam // Feb 29, 2008 at 9:55 am
A quick Google Scholar search for “male body image” provided some promising results. As did a JSTOR and EBSCOhost search (the perks of being a college student, free subscriptions to research databases). I know there are some free research datebases out there, I’m just not sure what they are.
3 elisabeth // Feb 29, 2008 at 10:00 am
I don’t have any suggestions on what to read, but I will suggest that you make a mantra out of this blog title: “Get Fit Slowly” ! It is hard when we live in an instant-gratification culture to adjust to the idea that things are going to take time…
Also, I have had the same compunction to weigh myself at least every day, even though I “know” that it isn’t a good judgement of what is going on. I’ve been trying to break that habit and do only a once-a-week weigh in — and not to fret about small differences there either, but to also try to judge by how I look/feel and not just by a weight number…
4 Red // Feb 29, 2008 at 10:13 am
Yeah, humans really do absorb water. I’ve noticed I gain 4/10 of a pound between when I wake up and when I shower.
5 Lauren Muney, wellness + facilitation coach // Feb 29, 2008 at 10:15 am
There’s a difference between “caring about your priorities” (ie: fitness) versus “letting self-obsession overtake all other subjects in your life” (eg: ignoring family, work, etc, for the obsessive acts). The difference includes the ‘intensity’ of your focus over missed workouts: Miss Potter describes “acute anxiety” over missed workouts.
I also have trained 23-25 of the last 29 days. Yes, I too note when I miss a day, but I don’t get ‘anxious’ about it. However, I do have a little discussion with myself about the circumstances. I also do miss my training on the days i don’t do it - I enjoy the energetic feelings after workouts. This is a healthy way of prioritizing my health/fitness without anxiety, but I am also allowed to appreciate that I feel best when doing a workout daily.
Can you see the difference in yourself as to whether you have a healthy ‘motivation’ for fitness, or do YOU think you are on the ‘acute anxiety’ stage?
Look up anything with describes “body dismorphia” because it will also discuss OCD regarding body issues.
Btw, it’s not “total crazy” to be 34 and afraid to take your shirt off at the beach. You have a right to feel comfortable in your own skin, and you are taking steps to achieve that goal. You will go through a journey of thoughts and feelings along the way.
6 Amy // Feb 29, 2008 at 10:35 am
Its tough not to weigh yourself constantly - so many of us trying to lose weight run into the same problem.
As far as body image goes - you’ve lost 18 lbs (almost 10% of your body weight!) so you’re already a success! That’s definitely something to feel good about.
7 Eric Nagel // Feb 29, 2008 at 10:51 am
Your weight is very deceiving. I haven’t lost a single pound in a year, and yet I’m very proud of my progress. I’ve gone from 22 to 12.5% body fat and put on 16 pounds of muscle. Weight does not matter - you’re exercising, which builds muscle.
Focus on the mirror, not the scale. Remember that since you see yourself daily, however, you won’t notice the changes. Take photos every 4-6 weeks and set them out to compare. Then you’ll see the difference.
Good luck,
Eric
8 English Major // Feb 29, 2008 at 11:57 am
Try Susan Bordo’s Unbearable Weight. It’s mainly focused on the beauty ideal for women, but she has an extremely interesting take on the rise in importance of being “toned” in the ’80s, for men and women both.
9 Karen // Feb 29, 2008 at 12:03 pm
No good suggestions, just a “me too” on the scales issue. I have lost four pounds and that success has me jumping on the scales morning and night. I know I should only weigh myself once, at the same time each day, but still the scales are calling my name! LOL
10 Molly H. // Feb 29, 2008 at 12:13 pm
As a clinical psychology graduate student, here’s a book I would recommend on body image:
Body Image: Handbook of Theory, Research and Clinical Practice. Edited by Thomas Cash
Each chapter is written by a different expert, and each covers a slightly different topic. I know there is a chapter on body image as it relates to athletes, and I’m pretty sure there’s a male-specific chapter as well.
I can certainly understand the “scale addiction”, I’ve been there. But I’ve also started to be very conscious of what my body can do and appreciate it for what it is. For example, in the past, I might chide myself for having bigger thighs, but now I praise myself because those very same big thighs propelled me through three marathons. Try not to focus so much on the number as on how your body feels and judge your progress based on strength/endurance and even clothing fit.
You’re doing great
11 Josh // Feb 29, 2008 at 1:28 pm
Very cool post.
I weight myself a lot, 2 or 3 times a day. It doesn’t really bother me though. I wrestled in high school and know how much water levels can affect your weight. Cutting 10lbs in a few hours was not uncommon with a steamy room, exercise bike, and sweats with plastic suit under them. Try drinking 3 beers one night and nothing else, the next morning you’ll weigh 2 or 3 lbs lighter. I guess what I’m trying to say is that weight fluctuates day to day a lot. A lb of fat is 3500 calories so gaining 1.5 lbs one day can’t be fat unless you were recently in a hot dog eating contest.
-Josh
12 TosaJen // Feb 29, 2008 at 2:16 pm
I don’t know about research for male body image disorders, but I can chime in with a few anecdotes, observations:
re: the scale — this too shall pass, probably. There are times when I hop on the scale all the time to see whether the numbers are “real”, and get a feel for how much they fluctuate based on eating, potty use, menstrual cycle, drinking, exercise, etc. Then, the thrill wears off, and I go back to weighing less often.
re: body image. There’s a lot of psychology out there about how self-acceptance, gratitude, and confidence lead to more success than self-loathing. We take better care of ourselves and worry less about what other people think when we feel good about ourselves. That’s not male-specific, and not even specific to body image, but it is probably related.
I grew up the typical “fat” (not really), curvy, short girl who wanted to be tall and willowy. That later turned to toned when that fad started in the 80’s. This body has produced, nursed, and carried around 2 kids, run a few 1/2 marathons, hiked and skied mountains, biked around town, and walked many, many miles. I can breathe, I can sing, I can dance, I can do the horizontal bop, . . . How I can I not have some respect for it? Why would I want to abuse it? Does it look perfect? Heck no, less than ever before! But I’m not there to be looked at — I am there to DO.
Climbing off soap box. Yeah, therapy and self-help books can be very helpful . . .
13 Reach For The Stars // Feb 29, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I am also guilty of stepping on the scale 2 or 3 times a day. I know that I am obsessed with my weight and my lack of losing it. I feel guilty everytime I don’t exercise, and everytime I eat things I shouldn’t. Problem is, when I feel guilty it only wants to make me eat more. I appreciate your post and will definately be checking back as I am new to your site. Thanks.
14 hem // Mar 1, 2008 at 12:11 am
hi there,
Here is the interesting site.
http://www.gain-weight-muscle-fast.com/
When i enter the world of fitness, I have no idea about anything. But that site educate me lot. You might find similar info from diff places, but the author has done nice job in putting thing together.
I suggest to take a look. Lots of stuff.
15 Mike // Mar 1, 2008 at 5:11 am
I can relate to the scale obsession..but I really wanted to chime up and say that most public libraries have some of these research databases mentioned by Sam above.
16 Nancy Bruno // Mar 1, 2008 at 6:37 am
Kudos to you for speaking your truth! Body image issues do not only plague women, but men too. In the spring, we will be launching the Genuine Men Project (www.thegenuinemen.com) sharing the stories of thirty five men ranging in age from twelve through ninety one. By sharing these stories we hope that men will no longer feel alone in their own life journeys. It is about your experiences and how you meet them - I think that you are doing an amazing job sharing your journey. Keep it up! Nancy Bruno
17 greenman2001 // Mar 1, 2008 at 9:04 am
I can’t tell you how sad this post makes me. Human beings seem wired to find things to hate about themselves — I’m no different. I’m certain that your children will love you no matter what you look like, Mac. And while your wife undoubtedly has an opinion about it, I’d venture to say it’s a long way down the list of things about you that matter to her. And on the beach, 99 out of a 100 people who glance at you are not going to give your appearance a moment’s thought. But it’s true: 1 of those 100 will say to themselves, “that guy’s 20 lbs overweight.” And in the drama inside your head, that’s the voice you’re going to turn towards. That’s the voice that drives you at the gym. This breaks my heart.
I don’t know whether, three months into this experiment, exercising 26 days out of 29 constitutes exercise addiction. It seems unlikely that an activity you used to hate has now become something you are powerless to stop, doesn’t it?
But you’ve stirred this pot, now. You tilled soil that was once fallow. New things can grow now, and they are — new issues are surfacing, you’re both benefitting and suffering from your efforts, you see things you didn’t see before, you feel things you didn’t feel. It started out about diet and exercise, but you can’t shake up such fundamental parts of your life and not have the effects reach more deeply, extend out more widely, than just those narrow concerns.
Imagine what would happen if you shook up other parts of your life in the same way? Changed careers, moved, adopted a child, got into therapy, volunteered, agitated for a cause, threw out your tv?
18 Darren // Mar 3, 2008 at 9:55 am
It’s very easy to become fixated on data, especially for geeky types (I should know!). My trick? Get fixated on more useful data — your weight *trend*.
The “Hacker’s Diet” has a pre-made Excel sheet that works very well for this. You weigh daily, and it graphs your overall weight trend. By fixating on the trend line, the numbers I see on the daily weigh-in don’t irk me as much, and I’ve come to realize a simple truth:
Daily Weight Fluctuates.
My weight will fluctuate throughout the week as much as *2 pounds*, depending on water retention, size of the previous night’s meal, and probably a myriad other factors.
But, watching the trend line continue steadily down despite those fluctuations does two things:
a) reminds me that fluctuation is normal, even when losing weight
b) gives me much more concrete information about the effect of fitness changes.
19 Andrew is getting fit // Mar 16, 2008 at 12:15 am
Heh…reading this was like reading all about me.
I’m a bit obsessive about the scale too and for exactly the same reasons you are.
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