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I went to dinner with Mac and Pam list night. Mac and I both craved hamburgers, so we decided to let ourselves have them because:
- It was his 34th birthday.
- It was our monthly Get Fit Slowly “business meeting”.
- We’re both doing well on our fitness goals.
Mac has been exercising 5-6 times a week. He looks great. It’s quite clear that he’s been losing weight. My weight-loss is less evident, but I’ve been sticking to my diet plan, eating smaller (and healthier portions), and avoiding indulgences like candy and cookies.
So we ordered hamburgers and diet sodas. We talked about fitness. Pam — who ordered tomato bisque — told us about how she wants to run an ultra-marathon. Mac talked about the meal plan his personal trainer wants to put him on. I pined for warmer weather so that I could exercise outside in comfort.
“I feel gross,” I said after dinner. “I ate too much.”
“Me too,” Mac said. “I’m used to smaller portions.”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’ve been eating smaller portions, too. And I haven’t been eating greasy hamburgers.” I looked at our plates. Neither one of us had been able to finish our burgers completely. (Though, to be honest, I had also consumed — in what I now recognize as a moment of irrational thinking — a plate of hot wings.)
On the drive home, my wife and I talked about our dinners. (She had dined with her former chemistry professor.) “I don’t feel good,” I told her. “And the crazy thing is, in retrospect, I would rather have eaten something healthier. I would have enjoyed an olive plate more. Or a bowl of chowder. Or maybe even a salad. At the time, I thought I wanted a hamburger. Now I’m not so sure.”
But I’m not disappointed to have eaten so much or so poorly. In fact, I view this as a highly instructive experience. I learned a valuable lesson. But will I recall the lesson in the future? The next time I’m in this situation, will I remember how poorly I felt after my hot wings, burger, and diet coke? Will I make a better choice?
Mac
12 responses so far ↓
1 greenman2001 // Feb 9, 2008 at 10:34 am
J.D.,
As you can imagine, this post makes me very happy. The day will come, my friend, when you will treat yourself to a Hostess Snowball and it will make you sick to your stomach.
Part of what you’re doing is learning to pay attention to your body again. How much food does it take for me to feel full? Do I actually feel good after eating a hamburger? This is a skill — one that the culture systematically discourages you from exercising, by the way.
I will surely go hoarse repeating the words “Stop eating in restaurants!” but I’ll share with you a technique I often practice in restaurants when I’m out on a date. Since most of the reason I’m in the restaurant is to talk to the person I’m eating with, I take a leisurely approach to ordering. I’ll order just an appetizer, and wait to order my entree until after I’ve finished the appetizer. Then I’ll order a salad, sometimes a cup of soup. This slows the consumption of calories down to a pace that allows my brain to register the fact that I’m actually full. And I AM full: I will have eaten no more than 2 hours earlier, and I only need 400 calories or so to feel satiated at that point, an amount easily consumed with a drink and an appetizer.
Plus, you spend less. This should appeal to the cheapskate in you.
You’ll note that the ritual of dining in a restaurant discourages this kind of body awareness. Typically, you order all the food up front, then feel obligated to eat it all, or simply eat it automatically over the course of the very pleasant conversation you’re having with your dinner companion. You want the conversation to continue — what else is there to do but eat? How about some dessert?
Dieters walking into restaurants should behave like soldiers heading into combat. You need to be well-prepared, have a plan, be hyper-aware and vigilant, and remember your mission. This is a hostile environment. Your enemy is stealthy, possibly smarter than you are, and has been preparing for your arrival long before you got there.
2 Toby // Feb 9, 2008 at 2:51 pm
great post, great comments from greenman
3 dingbat // Feb 9, 2008 at 3:31 pm
You’ve hit upon the reason why I can no longer eat any fast food except Subway–it makes me physically ill. Subway doesn’t exactly make me feel like turning cartwheels, but it doesn’t make me feel sick. My experience has been that I’ve made subtle changes (usually over Lent, coincidentally) that stack up after a while. Once my body is trained to go without something I shouldn’t be ingesting anyway, I find I can no longer tolerate it when I get to “treat” myself once in a while.
Even diet coke, which I used to drink 2 liters of per day in college, I literally can’t stomach anymore.
Here’s to mindless behavior modification!
4 elisabeth // Feb 9, 2008 at 4:26 pm
Well, it sounds like you might have enjoyed the wings–in which case that might have been a good indulence, even if the burger wasn’t…
I think I’ve read that diet colas aren’t really a factor in weight loss, and that in terms of the chemicals used, it might be better to have a small regular soda (with lots of ice!) instead of a larger diet one…
5 olivia // Feb 9, 2008 at 5:26 pm
I’ve found that when I have a craving for cheeseburgers, I can fool that craving by making one at home from a meatless patty and a small piece of cheese. (Even soy cheese, if you like it.) I also realized, for me, part of the appeal was the ketchup-mayo combination.
It’s not a meal one should eat every night, but with the right ingredients, it sure beats a huge, fatty restaurant portion.
6 Brooke // Feb 9, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Hi JD & Mac,
You guys are inspiring. Also LOVED greenman’s words.
In response to Elisabeth’s comment, I can’t drink regular soda. The sugar absolutely kills me. And the calories are a complete waste. I so rarely drink soda that a diet coke or two with dinner once every few weeks is not a big deal.
I can relate to the burger dilemna. I used to love eating ice cream Blizzards or McFlurries. The last time I ate one (which was after not eating junk for a long time) it made me nauseated. I hate feeling that way so yes I will remember that for a LONG time.
How can Pam only eat tomato bisque? That’s it? Does it even fill her up? I’m guessing she must have had bread or crackers with it.
Cheers
7 TosaJen // Feb 9, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Greenman made a good suggestion about slow ordering. DH and I call that sick feeling (and sometimes the physical rejection later) negative reinforcement.
My typical approaches to eating out are sharing, ordering appetizers as entrees, and ordering kids meals, when they’re available to adults.
It sounds like each of you wanted to taste a burger (and a good burger tastes fantastic), but who needs to eat the whole thing themselves? Yeah, people will look at you funny, but who cares?
And, as Greenman suggests — eat out a lot less.
8 Mike // Feb 10, 2008 at 5:19 am
Something I’ve done recently when it was really cold and I couldn’t stomach a salad was to order a plain burger and a soup, but only eat the burger, not the bread of it, or only burger and half the bread (an open sandwich thing). It left me satisfied, and in my calorie range.
9 Pam // Feb 10, 2008 at 8:32 am
Hi JD,
I have lost exactly 110 pounds over the past four years (from 276 to 167 - and still losing) and I took many of the same approaches you are trying here. One of the first things I noticed after I started taking care of my body was that the old junk food I used to eat all the time left me feeling sick, bloated and nauseated. Sometimes the effects would linger for days!
These days I would much rather have a soup and salad or sandwich than a giant, greasy burger. Your body adapts and you wonder how you ever ate all that crap before (I used to eat McDonald’s sometimes twice a day).
I do still treat myself once in a while - but like TosaJen suggests, my fiance and I will split a burger and each have a whole salad! You still get the taste you’re craving, without the gross, disgusting feeling afterwards.
You guys are doing great!! I love the blog.
10 Cammy // Feb 10, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Great post, great insights!
Cheeseburgers are one of the luxuries I indulge in every two or three months, but I’ve always had problems with the portion sizes in most restaurants. I’m lucky to have found a couple of places that have ‘kiddie burgers’ that are every bit as satisfying as the adult portions. On at ;east a couple of occasions a friend and I have ordered salads and shared a burger. Either way, I avoid that Ugh! aftermath.
11 Brigid // Feb 11, 2008 at 7:50 am
Great comments! I think it’s also refreshing to see people who can indulge in their favorite food once in while and not beat themselves up for it. I think this is a key mentality in a healthy lifestyle. Most people can not be a food and fitness nazi - never straying from the path. Enjoy the occassional burger and fries, but of course eat slowly and push it away when you’ve had enough. Over time, you will start to eat healthier foods as a preference. French fries used to be a daily staple, now I can count on one hand the times I’ve ordered fries over the course of an entire year. I also no longer find alfredo sauces appealing. Give me a spicy marinara any day:-)
12 The Dangers of Diet Soda // Feb 12, 2008 at 9:08 am
[...] worse than regular soda?” I was thinking of the two giant diet cokes I’d had with my greasy hamburger a couple days before. I was thinking of how I used to drink two or three diet sodas every [...]
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