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“Is that what you’re wearing?” Kris asked me last night. We were walking out the door to meet an old grade school friend for dinner. I knew that the clothes I was wearing weren’t fashionable, but I didn’t think they were that bad. The truth is, however, they were the only clothes I have that fit.
“What’s wrong with this?” I asked.
She paused to think. She realized her honesty had reared its ugly head. She also knew I could take it. “You look fat,” she said. “That orange sweater makes you look like a pumpkin. And you know I hate those elastic-waist pants.” But I knew the elastic waist pants — a $5 thrift-store special — were the only pants I had that were big enough.
I encounter a lot of problems when I gain weight. Finding clothes is one of the top on the list. In my mind, I naturally have a 34-inch waist. Naturally. In reality, during my adult life I’ve only fit in size 34 pants for about eighteen months: from late 1997 to early 1999. The rest of the time I’ve worn size 36, though I really need size 38. The stretch-waist pants I wore last night were size 38. Plus. With the elastic waist, I’m sure I’m pushing size 40.
The problem is, I refuse to buy big clothes. My drawers are filled with pants that have a 36-inch waist, pants that remain unworn. I have a dozen nice t-shirts — size medium. I can’t wear a medium t-shirt right now; it’s not a pretty sight.
I don’t buy new, larger clothes because I believe doing so is a sign that I’ve admitted defeat, that I’ve given in and accepted that I’m fat. Also, I always think that in just a few weeks I’ll be skinnier again, so it doesn’t make sense to buy larger clothes that will ultimately be used for just a few days.
The trouble is, just a few days become just a few weeks become just a few months become just a few years. And here I am, still fat. But without any clothes to wear.
Mac
7 responses so far ↓
1 Lee Gibbons // Nov 20, 2007 at 9:23 am
Whoa… that sounds exactly like me. I have a ton of clothes, of which about 25% probably fit me. I tend to keep them thinking, oh this will look good when I get skinny again, of course that skinny part doesn’t ever seem to happen.
I finally caved in and filled two garbage bags worth of clothes and threw them in the donation bin.
2 monica // Nov 21, 2007 at 4:24 am
Hi JD. Your entry really tugged on my heartstrings. Been there soooo many times. I think it’s okay to keep a few items around as sort of a reminder of a goal you want to reach. But the most important time in your life is the present, and feeling confident enough in the present to go after that 36-inch goal. So I say buy a few things that you feel good in right NOW. Maybe they won’t fit in a few months but who cares, right? The more stuff you have that you don’t fit into because they’re TOO BIG, the better you’re feel.
Just my two pence. Good luck, and keep on pushing! Losing weight is a lot like quitting smoking (in my experience). It’s a long string of trial and error, little successes, sometimes big failures, but the more you try, the more likely you are to succeed. Give up on the elastic waist trousers before you give up on the 36-inches hiding in your drawer. =)
3 FinanceAndFat // Nov 22, 2007 at 6:51 am
Ah, great post man, I feel your pain! It’s sad, I’m down to 4 shirts for work that fit properly. I probably have a total of 30 shirts in my closet. I refuse to buy ‘fat’ clothes because I want to lose weight, but I am losing weight so slowly that I don’t see myself wearing those other clothes any time soon.
That being said, I remain stubborn and I refuse to buy new clothes. I’m losing weight, just not at a fast pace. Until I get there, feeling silly wearing the same outfits every week (stuff that is really too tight anyway) will have to be the price I pay.
4 Missy // Nov 26, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Okay, first of all, I totally understand where you are coming friend. However, that being said…
By loading your drawers with clothes that don’t fit, you are essentially “storing” junk. And I read your PF blog, and I know and you know that storing junk just isn’t worth it (ok, if you aren’t the guy that also does Get Rich Slowly, that’s ok, but the idea still stands). So here is what I would do:
1. Get an under-the-bed storage bag (Target: $15) and put every single item of clothing that doesn’t fit you into it and put it under the bed.
2. Then hit some stores and buy: 2 pairs of jeans, a pair of slacks, 4 t-shirts and 2 good shirts, in your size, whatever that size may be. You should be able to do this for around $100-150 if you find good deals, maybe even a little less.
3. Now you have a wardrobe in your size. Give yourself 6 months to fit into the smaller clothes, and if it doesn’t happen? Throw them out. Either you’ll be motivated or you won’t, but living life with closets full of clothes that don’t fit is not a good way to a)feel good about yourself, b)present a good appearance to the world, and c)utilize the space in your home.
Every weight-loss advice I have ever read recommends buying clothes that fit. Hit the second-hand store if you balk at the cost. And above all, consider it motivation that in a few months you’ll kiss those bigger clothes good-bye.
5 paidtwice // Nov 29, 2007 at 3:23 pm
Are you my husband?
The other commenters have given great advice and insight, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. You exactly described my husband. Who has not seen 34″ in maybe a decade yet still thinks he is one.
Buy clothes that fit. It’ll make you feel better. I’ve started infiltrating my spouse’s wardrobe with bigger stuff that actually fits. From goodwill, no less, but that’s another topic. heh.
And he’s started exercising.
6 SR // Dec 10, 2007 at 8:41 pm
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get some new clothes — just go to Goodwill, Value Village, or another second-hand store. I’ve repeatedly found very good quality clothes (sometimes new/unworn), for great prices. I, too, am in the midst of losing weight gradually, and this is the best way to have clothes that fit and are flattering. It’s just as unflattering if someone wears clothes which are too small (which only makes you look bigger), as it is to wear clothes that are too small (which makes you look sloppy). You will also feel (and look) better by wearing clothes that fit properly. The trick is to just wear what fits, and not look at the size — from the way women’s clothes are cut, I wear one of 2-3 different sizes…
Good luck!
7 Stephane // Jan 18, 2008 at 11:07 am
JD - Thank you for sharing. I thought I was the only one with clothes that don’t “fit”. If I succumb to bigger clothes, I no longer have the daily reminder of the weight I must loose to be fit and healthy again.
I started the year needing to loose 18 pounds. I’ve lost 5 so far. Been quite hungry. But that’s the point of weight loss, right?).
Good luck to you and I will check back to see how you are doing.
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